I'm gonna DJ at the end of the world

I thought today here I would make a post of my favourite videos from the top three albums on the previous list. If you enjoy them please tell me what you think, always happy to discuss music with anyone.

Elton John-The Captain and the Kid, beautiful song looking back over a lifetime of friendship. Always makes me tear up a little bit, what a way to end the album!

A touching love song, quite subdued compared to the rest of the album. Never fails to make me think of my beautiful GF, I just love it.

My all time favvy song :) its impossible to not get up and dance around the room like an idiot singing in to your hairbrush

Dancing at the dawn of Armageddon part 2

I must apologize for not updating yesterday but had to work on an essay for my criminal law class such fun but I did it get ready in time and can now finish part 2 of my top ten favvy albums of all time! Now that apologies are out of the way we shall get on with the show.

5. Insane Clown Posse-Hells Pit

Release date: 2004

Genre: Horrorcore rap

Now this one will probably turn a few heads, but I absolutely love the Insane Clown Posse, yes they wear clown make up, yes they do have a few silly songs but at heart, in my opinion, they do have a serious message and a large amount of talent. They can rap and they do rap, just a little differently to other more mainstream rappers but each rapper has their own unique style, you can’t compare one to another. On this album it is the last of the first series of Jokers Cards, and the "other half" to The Wraith, this one shows the listener what will happen if they live a life of evil and show no compassion for others. The Wraith on the front cover is outstretching its hand to take you on a tour of Hells Pit. The lyrics are some of the darkest they have written, mostly devoid of their trademark humour that helps break up the seriousness of their message and with a production that is both murky and heavy on the bass. The band were at the time not speaking to their usual producer Mike E Clark and have got Esham on board, what else would you expect from the rapper responsible for the album "Kill The Fetus"? As with its sister album "Shangri La" the albums comes with either a concert CD or a mini film to their song "Bowling Balls"

4. The Smashing Pumpkins-MACHINA/The Machines of God

Release date: 2000

Genre: alternative rock

The last album recorded by what many consider to be the "real" Pumpkins, or you could say the last album before Billy Corgan’s ego caused them to implode. An album that was originally meant to be a two disc album about a rockstar living in a futuristic world named Glass who becomes some sort of a messiah figure and……… Yeah, Virgin Records for some reason thought a two disc album like this wouldn’t sell very well, especially after their previous album "Adore" had made fans feel distant from them and grunge was in its death throes and metal was all the rage. So Billy Corgan trimmed it down to one disc and released the incomplete disc 2 for free on the internet. *its still available and despite its convulted plot if you listen to it all at once its amazing!* Billy Corgan’s is raw and rough throughout the record, the guitars are tuned up high and dominate the sound once more like on their debut "Gish" sweeping syth sounds undercut the guitars giving the slow songs a little bit of a softer but for the most part this is a raw album and one that was made to be played live. While the plotline is a little thin on the ground, the lyrics are some of the best of Corgan’s songwriting career, I challenge anyone to listen to Eye of the Morning without feeling misty eyed. They are personal and definitely display how alienated the band where feeling at the time.

3. Elton John-Captain and the Kid

Release date: 2006

Genre: rock

The nights me and Mark have spent drink in hand playing this album in the early hours of the morning are too numerous to mention but its one that has many fond memories for me. Elton’s paino is finally back at the forefront after years of soft rock and soppy love balladeering, and he sounds like he is having an amazing time and bashing out honky tonk contempary country style music. His voice is rough from his, at the time, recent throat operation. The album is a sequel to his and Bernie’s early 70s masterpiece "Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy" finishing the story of Elton and Bernie’s rise to the top filled with all of the broken relationships, drug addictions and reflections upon dear friends lost to the terrible AIDs virus. It’s a touching and intensely emotional album, one that when you listen to it you should have a good friend and even better drink with which to while away the night talking of adventures and friends and lovers long since past, because that is what this album is, it’s a conversation between Elton and Bernie about their lives together. Its short, sharp and maybe only ten tracks long but it gets in plenty of punches during that time.

2. Darren Hayes-The Tension and the Spark

Release date: 2007

Genre: Pop/electronic/dance

So this album effectively killed Darren Hayes’ career for a few years and sent in to his record company in to panic mode, they expected another album in the style of his first solo album "Spin" a flashy pop album filled with light lyrics and dancefloor grooves. What they get was an album spawned from his divorce, his recent coming out and attempt to become involved in the gay scene and find love. So not a cheerful one. Whereas the previous album has many happy memories for me this is one I return to when feeling lost in love and life, an album that helps me reflect upon my problems, feel like I am not alone. I cannot believe that anyone in the world will not relate to at least one of these songs here. The music is cutting edge dark dance music, as usual he works with a team of collaborators’ and here is probably the tightest team he has ever worked with, never since the early days of Savage Garden has he been so at the fore front of dance music, the lyrics talk of the struggle between light and darkness, sex and love, friendship and hatred, and the music moves from orchestral synths and low, murky erotic dancefloor grooves. This is an album to be played alone, early in the morning, in bed and with a decent pair of headphones on. Only then can you experience the meaning of his lyrics and the subtleties of music. The NME called him a genius, they were not wrong.

1. David Bowie-Never Let Me Down

Release date: 1987

Genre: New wave/rock/pop

David Bowie apologised for this album publically saying how much he hated it and did not want his fans to hear it. Well I adore this album, its brilliant, never before or since have Bowie's lyrics been so socially conscious, has he sounded like he is actually having fun on record! His voice was sweet with enough ageing to give it a rich, deep sound and helps the listener get that Bowie knows what he is talking about, that the songs are lived in and well worn. This album was Bowie's full embracement of the new wave movement, a movement born from people who were know of age but in youth inspired by his "Berlin" trilogy of albums. Well that genre birthed some brilliant bands but it all sounded trite when Bowie himself stepped in to the scene. its an album that sounds sunny, the music is drenched in 80s excess and conjures up images of Miami Vice, every track on this album is simply begging to be played in a club, as with Blind Melon every party I have stuck this album on at has gotten people moving straight to their feet and started dancing. My all time favorite album, I never get bored of it and it never fails to put a smile on my face.

Well there you have it, my top ten favvy albums, these are the stories of my life, each one is connected to my life in some way, each one has a handful of good and bad memories.

I hope if you listen to any of these albums or songs from them you will please tell me in the comments below.

I can assure you; I have not been to Oxford Town

I know this blog so far has been about my life and my experiences, particularly in my early teens, but today I would like to share the story of how the music of one David Bowie came in to my life. You see since the first moments I had heard but a few chords of "The Man Who Sold The World" when I surfing the internet late one night it completely changed my perspective on music and art. I was 15yo and around this time I was deeply in to "noise rock" the early music of Sonic Youth *basically anything before Daydream Nation and the early EPs and albums of White Zombie *before they became essentially Rob Zombie's backing band* were what turned me on, my philosophy was if it had a discernible tune, melody or seemed to be anything other than an extended jam session with absolutely no focus in mind I hated it and was terribly pretentious to anyone who didn't agree with my opinion. I am not proud now to admit this but this is how I was, for whatever reason, I was an elitist music snob. A very pretty one :P but a snob nonetheless. I suppose I was young and immature, I was a follower of a few alternative bands, not that either of those two bands these days are particularly obscure but back then and in my area they were unheard of. And to someone like me being so unpopular and awkward it gave me some sense of identity, something to cling to that made me feel proud, and I ran with it.

I suppose this post does fit neatly in to the timeline of my life I am attempting to the best of my fleeting abilities as shortly after I left the farm was when my therapy sessions were becoming more frequent and me and my therapist had gotten quite close and he was interested in discussing music with me. To make it easier as he may come up a lot I will call him "The Prof" *epic Back To The Future reference right thar* One day when talking about my gender problems he asked me if I had ever heard of David Bowie, as much as it pained me back then to admit to gaps in my music knowledge I respected him too much to get uppity and confessed I had no idea as to who he was.

He went on to explain he was a rock singer who started in the 1960s but got his big break during the "Glam Rock" explosion that happened in the early 1970s. Right off the bat this did not impress me, any mention of 70s rock and my mind crawled with images of Led Zeppelin and The Who *two bands that despite my best efforts I have never been able to get in to, I respect what they have done but it just doesn't turn me on* we ended up talking for most of the session about Bowie and I was enraptured. He explained how he dressed as flamboyantly as possible, pranced around on stage under the guise of "Ziggy Stardust" singing songs with homosexual themes and defied gender conventions by looking as beautiful as he wanted to. To a young, transgender girl like myself this was amazing! :D I had to get home as quickly as possible and listen to this amazing man. The way The Prof explained him to me made him seem like Bowie was singing to people like me, Hell back then even I had only just learned that their was a word for people like me, ah Hell I had only just learned that more people like me existed. I had visions of being the last of my kind, walking across deserted wastelands dressed in a tattered cloak carrying a sword that I managed to salvage from some ancient tomb filled with murals of my dead race. I also like to envision I have some witty, trash talking side-kick, possibly a small, gold hungry Dwarf who joined me in hopes of gold and adventure. *When I say it like that being Trans sounds epic*

Soooo after that little rambling I did thar I went home and after doing whatever I was up to around that time, I was probably watching Wonderfalls or something *amazing show that only lasted one season sadly, watch it and thank me later* that night I looked up on Bowie and noticed "The Man Who Sold The World" was one of his early singles and being a completest I wanted to hear his earliest possible music. The room instantly filled with distorted, sultry guitar tones followed by this voice, a voice like I had never heard before. Listening to "Noise Rock" all the time vocals were something I had never appreciated all that much, though Thurston Moore is a pretty decent singer IMO, but Bowie's voice resonated with me, it moved something in me. The lyrics were deep and filled with metaphors *and for once I could hear them right off the bat* I closed my eyes and just drifted away to some far off pastoral landscape, a place where you can pass yourself upon the stairs and exchange conversation.

After that fateful night I devoured every piece of information upon David Bowie I could find, I read about his personal life, learned the details of every single one of his albums. Even before I had heard them all I knew who recorded them, when they were recorded and in some instances the particular drugs Bowie was on when making said album. He spoke to me in a way other musicians had not before, yes he was not Trans and probably these days is very, very much straight but he still defied many conventions on gender and something about a straight man singing a song like "Rebel Rebel" or "Hallo Spaceboy" made him seem all the more cool.

Nowadays I own all of his albums and have heard each of them many, many times over and can probably recite the lyrics to all his songs of by heart but they have never lost any impact whatsoever to me. Even my GF when I met her used to refer to me as "that girl who loves Bowie a bit too much" to her family and friends. Back when I was so socially awkward the only thing I knew everything on and was confident talking about was Bowie so I used to talk about him all the time, I guess I just felt that I couldn't be caught out when discussing him. That he was something comfortable to me, like an old friend, I knew no matter what happened I would always have the music of David Bowie to help me. His discography was so diverse so eclectic that he has a song for every mood possible, every experience you can go through just a quick dip in to his albums and you may just find the answer you are looking for.

When I had trouble in love I put on Stationtostation and The Thin White Dukes tortured yet cold, icy and distant croon would be a veritable catharsis to me. When I feel alone and isolated from the world Low gives me a few moments in time where I can be alone in my dreamscape, where the world can go away and me and Bowie can be alone, can just live in our pain and isolation.

That is why I love Bowie, as I write this I am glancing over to my CD rack and his CDs are there waiting for me when I need them most, I must admit I don't listen to his music as much as I used to since my musical tastes have become much more diverse and my CD collection has steadily grown over the years so I try to listen to all my albums and to focus on one band or singer would mean I would never get a chance to listen to all of them. But when I am depressed everyone in my life knows which singer I turn to for advice and musical therapy and that is David Bowie, when you think about it its really quite fortunate, when you see me listening to Bowie you know something is up.