First things first I would like to give warm thanks to Mark for whoring me out in his blog yesterday -_- didn't come out right :P and a big hello and hugs to my new followers I will try to update every day or at least other day but since my college course likes to take all my time until I am jittering wreck underneath a pile of criminal law and psychology books *a very cute jittering wreck mind you* I cannot promise that or how long some posts will be as I also have to commute over a hundred miles away to see my GF and don't have great internet access over -_-
Anyhoo now that’s out the way I'm not terribly certain how long this post will be as it is 4:39am as I write this and I have a bit of ground to cover with this topic and now idea where and how my mind will jump with this one. You see due to my life being for want of a better phrase absolutely-mind numbingly-dear lord no daddy no-awful and a few other things my memory on some events is a little hazy not very consistent so please excuse me dearest readers if I contradict myself at times.
Now when I last left off your humble narrator and heroine had met Mark, left school and I mentioned briefly working on a farm, well that is what I shall discuss today, just a few stories from my time there. I am not going to lie, I am girly, like uber, maddeningly girly. Seriously physical activities to me are going for a spa day and I only ever run during a sale at my favvy shops so you can imagine my horror when I was told that because I was no longer attending school properly I was being sent to work on a FARM!!
Oh and in case you are wondering why they didn't home school me your guess is as good as mine. I went up to get work a few times and all they gave me was a copy of "Of Mice and Men" *great book BTW really enjoyed it* and that’s it, so I read it and waited for course work and got none..... I think my class that year was studying Animal Farm *another great book*
So anyways I was around 14 and sent to a farm. It wasn't that big really because at the time it was still being built and put together, they planned on making it a farm open to the public and few people worked there, mostly due to the fact half the laborers were either volunteers, college students studying animal care and of course, people who got kicked out of school. I soon learned my school had told them that I had been kicked out and was sent there because I was unable to work properly in a classroom. You can imagine the shock on the farmers face when expecting some kind of tough guy prone to violence *they claimed I was* and instead they were greeted with a very long haired, very skinny 14yo boy dressed in a black suit, neatly manicured painted nails, high heels on and smelling of perfume..... You know I looked fierce :P I got asked a lot just why I was there.
Sooooo for the first few months I was put to work cleaning out the pigs, chickens etc Yeah I learned quickly pigs eat anything, like including people! My first day there a pig literally chewed through my spade as I was cleaning out his pen O_O then tried to bite my leg, excuse what I said earlier another time I run is when a walking machine of death comes at me, I swear I saw it breathe fire and heard it speak in Backwards Latin before it came at me. I actually cleared the metal gate only to be greeted by my boss who didn't get why I was so scared, he obviously missed the whole talking Latin, fire breathing bit, but I knew what it really was... Sometimes I night I open my curtains and I can see it, its out there, waiting, DEAR GOD WHY IS IT WAITING!!!
It did take a long time to get them to believe I could handle heavier workloads and bigger responsibilities. In retrospect I can kinda see why they thought I couldn't, especially with the fact I got scared having to feed the dead baby chicks to the birds of prey, but come on! Who wouldn't find that nasty and gross and more than a little bit sad? But eventually they did and I started to enjoy myself a little bit, I look back quite fondly on my time there as after I left school I was a wreck and would have liked nothing more than to spend all day in bed but it got me out and showed me not everyone hates transgender people. It was such a nice surprise, there I was with pretty damn masculine, old fashioned farmers and not one of them batted an eyelid at me, they just didn't care, I could act as girly as I wanted to and dress however I liked and they just accepted me. I enjoyed going there just for the acceptance :) looking back now I learned something important myself, not to judge people, yes I do want people to look at me and see a woman, to not view us as freaks but why do I deserve that if I myself look at all straight people as judgmental or see a certain kind of person and expect them to be ignorant? It’s wrong, just as wrong as people colouring me a certain way and the warmth I was showed there opened my eyes to the fact I was giving people double standards.
Me opening up definitely helped my work and my ability to work in a team. I can remember one week my boss specifically asked for me to work with him building the fence around the entire compound! And the bird Avery that sits rather prettily in the middle of it all me and these two other women built it pretty much from scratch and put it up. As a side note my GFs still doesn't believe I am actually so good at DIY and other thingies :P its always a shock whenever I help him do something like that hehe.
Sadly I was only there for a few years because as much as I loved the atmosphere it really wasn't for me. I believe that certain things come along when we need them but are never intended to stay with us for very long, it built my confidence up and I learned some pretty good DIY skills and I learned a valuable life lesson to boot. Not bad for two years don't ya think? But I knew that I wasn't a physical girl and I should get outta there and go to college, so that’s what I did! I did for a short time do a bit of an animal carer course since I get really good at the work but it came so naturally to me I never felt challenged and that’s no, above all else I get bored if I am not being challenged and made to work to the best of my abilities. Also as the farm got bigger and bigger and more people started working there a lot of kids who had been kicked out of school were sent there and the atmosphere became less friendly and the close knit group we had going on was wrecked. Sad really. To see a bunch of kids disrespecting a really nice place we worked hard to build, but we couldn't do anything since the farm was getting money for these brats and we didn't have the power to give em the boot. The worst thing is that towards the end of my time there I was classed as a "senior worker" and had to train up these kids, they didn't take too kindly to be told what to do by a "guy" in women’s clothing who was only a few years older than they were........ But we don't need to go in to that.
So yeah just a bit from my time as a good old fashioned farmer :D not all the memories from that time are good but every now and then I do look back and feel a bit misty eyed, I made some nice friends there and really grew up as a person. But sadly around that time I lost touch with Mark, we tried our best to keep in contact with each other but he was going through his own rubbish and while I was maturing and getting somewhere, slowly but surely, my mental state was deteriorating quite rapidly and some pretty damn dark times were ahead on the horizon. It wasn't as easy as I thought for me to get in to college but that’s for another time I think :)PS: Since my schedule is a little odd most of the time and I'm going to be staying with my GF in a few days I will try my hardest to write a bunch of posts and put them over the next few days so expect a fair amount of posts coming up :P and read em all at once if you can't get enough of my awesomness or like, you know, don't....... And pretend they are being put up once a day... I'm kinda tired and rambling....