I am nothing more than some beautiful poses really

It has been my general experience that most expectant parents put upon their child a wealth of expectations before even granting the poor little tyke a name or knowing of its gender. Visions of tall, strong, handsome footballers excelling just as much at academics as they do at sports, girls flocking around their child hoping to be noticed by them, giggling uncontrollably at even his unfunniest of jokes. The other guys inviting him to endless parties, because obviously his presence will guarantee the attendance of the prettiest girls at school.

Or on the other end of the spectrum a beautiful, blonde haired princess, the picture of feminine graces. Oh yes all the boys love her and she has an army of mini clones following her fashion to the letter and her mother’s gaze upon this perfect angel in envy that their daughters just cannot match up to her.

Yeah their child’s endless successes and popularity is going to be a true testament to their skills as a parent, worth as a human being and these expectations are totally in no way their desire to live vicariously and a reflection of their own dashed hopes and failures. Nope, certainly not, nada!

Of course things don't always work out like this, do they? Parents can have the highest hopes possible for said sprogs, and they can you know, actually do some real parenting to boot but the kid will surprise you in more ways than you can count. Hell, you might actually be holding a beautiful baby boy in your arms only to later on wonder why he doesn't want to play with Action Man but instead plays with Barbie dolls and why all the girls thinks he’s the sweetest guy out there but just don't want to date him for "unspecified reasons" not to mention the time you caught him wearing your high heels trying to recreate Madonna's "Blonde Ambition" tour.............

Yeppy Mr and Mrs Smith you got yourself a bona fide Transgender child there; how are those expectations now?

Obviously I am speaking from experience here, Madonna DID use to be really good I don't care what anyone says..... Either way my parents hopes for me were more than a little dashed when I came out to them more than a few years ago now and this blog is a way for me to chronicle my life, relationships, college etc A lot has changed in my life since those early years trying desperately to be "one of the guys" and hide who I am from my family and friends. I am 22 years old now *I prefer the term post teenager* and am currently trying to work my way through college to get to Uni after having a few setbacks along the way, am in a four year relationship with the most beautiful girl in the world *we shall call her H for this blog* and generally trying to get my family to understand my situation and to get my Dad to understand that as a girl I do not like the terms "chap," "lad" or "mate".

So yeah, its more than a little bit complicated for me these days and things are moving waaayyyy too quickly for a small town girl to cope with so this blog will hopefully help me get my head straight.