I know I’m putting up another blog post today but I realized at my GFs that I didn’t put enough before I went to compensate for the time I was gone and I have found that I truly enjoy blogging, the thought that there are people out there reading my words, hopefully enjoying them is just plain bliss to me. And with so much going on in my life at the minute and what has happened to me in my past, well, it helps me to get all of that out. To see everyone commenting on each others blogs, giving each other advice, feels like one big family almost.
Anywhoo, on with todays show! I have spoken here previously about not having the best at school , lets be honest it was Hell for me, but their was one moment in Primary School where if I had made a different choice my life probably would have gone off in a completely different direction. Its something I often think on these days, how with the smallest of events my whole life would so different, I might not even be blogging to you now. I may not have even met H, that to me is pretty frightening, because as much as I may gripe and everything on my plate right now I like my life, and have tremendous hope for my future.
What happened *or nearly happened* is this; when I was around seven or eight, before the bullying got so bad that I shut down and stopped working my test scores were apparently very high and the teachers were noticing my grammar and vocabulary were higher than what is normal for someone my age so they called in some specialists who work with “gifted children” to test me and find out if I reall do have the mutant gene, if so I would be sent off to a special school with some creepy bald guy to “work with me” well sadly it was a little to that but these people came in to the school to make me do some boring tests that I had to do when my friends were outside playing. Seven year old me was not best pleased and thought the guy who was making me do the tests smelled funny.
So I did some tests and they got my scores back a few days later and they were getting excited because apparently I possessed a genius IQ, which I found odd because all I cared about was Digimon and when would Ash finally get to the Pokemon League? Anyway they offered me a place at this school for gifted children, which horrified me to tell you the truth, gifted children? To me it sounded like some insufferable bunch of posh kids with rich parents who sit around all day telling jokes in Latin and debating who has the most designer clothes. Kids who would eventually grow old and fat and sit around listening to classical music on some decrepit old record player in the halls of a uni filled with even more posh, rich people *oddly enough I now love classical music and want to go to uni :P* their was no way in Hell or Valhalla I was going to one of those places. In my mind I was already different enough without being made to go to some school for nerds, the whole idea seemed awful, why make a child like me stand out even more? I was already wondering what would the kids on my street say or do! I promptly to the horror of everyone involved turned it down and asked them to never mention it again.
I didn’t think that maybe it would be a better environment for me where I may not be bullied as much or the staff might be able to deal with my problems and get them sorted. No, to my young mind it was even worse than anything I had experienced at my school. But what scares me is that for a few moments I was considering it, if I had I would never have had all the experiences that made me who I am today. I never would have gone to the school where I met Mark and met one of the best friends I ever had, despite everything I have gone through making a lifelong friend like him was worth everything bad that happened. I certainly wouldn’t have met my wonderful GF, who through loving me has allowed me to love myself. I may have had, in some ways a better life, but certainly not one as rich and varied as what I went on to have. And that to me is better, a life without a little pain and loss is not one well lived, its barely a life at all if you ask me. If I had taken that offer I wouldn’t be me, I would be someone else looking back asking a completely different set of question, with different hopes and fears wondering what might have happened had I not accepted that schools offer, well I can say now with the upmost sincerity if I hadn’t gone to that school I would have had in many ways a wonderful and full life, I know because I am so happy to have lived such a life.
Now I’m wondering if anyone has had any experiences that they feel if they had gone differently would have had such a dramatic impact on their lives?