Thursday, 19 January 2012

Soul Mates never die

This is quite a personal blog post born from recent experiences that have happened to me and to a number of my friends, born as much from my own observations of these events and conversations I have had of late. I do not know if many will agree with my thoughts here but it is a mixture of what I believe and what I hope so dearly to be true.

Soul Mates has been a concept that has always fascinated, two people destined to meet who are so utterly perfect for each other that they are inseparable through life and in to whatever lies beyond. Now I am a romantic in the purest of sense *and a romantic with a capital R if anyone gets that* I love candlelit dinners, long walks under the moonlight and everything else that goes along with relationships. So it is only natural that I would think quite often upon Soul Mates, especially since so many of my friends are going through tough times in their relationships right now, it seems no one I know is truly happy in love these days and after many conversations and trying to offer some advice and guidance I decided to share my thoughts with the blogging world.

It seems odd to me that when relationships break down there are rallying cries of “but we are perfect for each other” and “how could it go so wrong when we are truly in love” perfectly normal responses but when it all finally breaks down and the couple go their separate ways they often times forget each other, never speak again and want to banish any memory they ever had of one another before starting a new relationship, but why? This is someone whom you loved dearly with you very heart and soul. Maybe it did not work out, maybe you hurt each other in the end but you did love them at one time. They seemed so very perfect for you, and why were they not just because it ended? I find the belief of one utterly perfect being for you so completely benign, maybe we have more than one soul mate? I am not the same person I was at 14 when I first felt real feelings for someone, and I most certainly am not the same person I was back then, but does that mean they were never right for me? I don’t want to think so at all, to love and be loved for your life does not mean never changing so the relationship lasts, we all change even if we do not realize it, its surely not hindsight only that means I would go back and do things differently, nor is it the knowledge I have accumulated in the interim. Its simply because I am no longer that girl. So that person is not right for me, but they were once upon a time, they were my soul mate for that phase of my life, they were what I wanted back then and unfortunately I want different things now. But I do not regret and no one should regret a relationship when it ends, because you were looking for something you wouldn’t look for now, don’t feel bad please, just see it as a person who came along and helped you from one phase of your life to the next, you may longer have need of them but you have memories, try to look at the pictures from the eyes of the person you once were and you just may see them with more love.

When a relationship ends through one of you falling out of love, is it because they hate you? Because they feel you are ugly or no longer meet their standards or because they have grown apart, become someone else, moved on to another place in their life and you have gone with them as far as you need to. Its sad indeed but that leaves you open to finding someone new, someone right for you are in your life. As I said above just see it as life has gifted you with more than one soul mate, one for each person you have been and will become.

Another thing I have been wondering lately is people who fall in love with more than one person. Granted I do not believe everyone can do this, only a few, is it through a deeper understanding of their own emotions or maybe a lack there of? Its not for me to choose or say since I have never really felt these strong emotions. I do still feel love for people in my past, it is no longer a love that would make me want to be with them nor is it as strong as my love for my GF, no one could ever take her place in my heart. But love was once there for those people and when you feel it can never truly go away unless it was never real to begin with. Sometimes I sit and think back to those cherished moments with them and my eyes mist over, because I did feel for them. I am not sorry it happened only sad as to how it ended, I think that’s a nice way to look at it. To feel blessed you met them and were gifted their company for a short time and that you will soon be gifted with someone new. I digress however, maybe loving more than one is something that does not replace the love you have for someone, it only compliments it, runs alongside each other for you are someone with multi facets to your personality that one person cannot fulfill?

In closing I have not forgotten that there are people who live their whole lives with one person. Maybe they are lucky? Maybe they simply grow together and change in to such similar people? Or they may not be soul mates, its strange to me that most people proclaim they have met their soul mate in the area in which they grew up. How do they not know that the person who is most right for them is not on the other side of the world? Why is it always so convenient? I know a few couples who have been together their whole lives and do not to me seem in love, merely confusing friendship for love, they are so alike they have fooled themselves in to thinking that is a Soul Mate, not someone who challenges them, accepts their differences and goes along with it, but a person who is so alike to them that they are good friends. Then again, it is not for me to judge, this is just my observations and opinions. I hope people agree with me *I do love that* or comment below and share their opinions J now go and comment minions!

1 comment:

  1. Someone I know suggested that you have more than one soulmate, but only one true love. We like to think that we'll be there for eachother all our lives, but we're hardly the perfect lovers. H does seem to be the perfect lover for you. I do know people who found their soulmate on the other side of the world. I actually helped an American woman stay sane until she was able to move all the way to Serbia in Eastern Europe. Sometimes soulmates aren't convenient, and sometimes they're less convenient than most. It's just a sign of how much you care about them if you're willing to go so far for them, physically as well as mentally.