For the few of you out there that read my blog regularly and will one day surely amass yourselves in to an army and overthrow the world like the good little minions that you are will surely know your humble narrator has not been going through the best of times at the minute. Well, let me rephrase that its as if Satan came up from Hell, interrupted me while throwing a dinner party for my family and friends, urinated in my soup *my favvy food* strapped me to the table, carved out my heart with a spoon, then went at the remains with a razor and lemon juice while telling my parents where my porn collection is, what’s in it and having a depressed violinist play Chopin in drop E *the saddest of all musical notes* oh and the violinists girlfriend left him this morning. No, I am not happy.
In short my girlfriends parents have forbid me from ever going to their houses again, and when in a long distance relationship that’s a pretty big problem. In any other situation I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad, lots of parents don’t like nor want to ever speak to their children’s choice of partner, but when I have to go and stay at their house to see my girlfriend well it makes things pretty awkward if they wanna run me down in their car. Aside from this they have took to taking every chance they can to run me down to her, which is making her feel pretty ill and unhappy to be stuck in the middle. I am not exactly sure why they have done this, I think at this point they haven’t got much of an idea either, its more like Jessica=SCUM! In their books. Though I think a big part is me being transgender, not so much I’m trans but that I’m a trans girl and they don’t like their daughter being in a lesbian relationship, I bet they also hate it at that gay people don’t get chased with pitchforks everywhere we go and that people no longer believe the Earth is flat. In case you are wondering why this has never been an issue before in our relationship I honestly don’t know, if I got their logic I would be worried I’m as loony as they are.
But I digress, if I continue down that path of bile and venom I won’t stop and my parents will find me in the morning in a cold bath clutching a toaster, knowing my luck just as I get in we will have a power shortage….. The reason I am telling you this is because the universities I applied to are around where my girlfriend lives and I simply don’t have the money to support myself over there and my family cant either. I was banking on staying with her family, getting a part time job when I can and avoiding a lot of the debt and costs of uni, isn’t it nice when a plan works out? Now that’s out the window I am going to have to apply to the Open University *do a uni course from home* but that means staying at home and transitioning! So not only have they stopped me seeing my girlfriend pretty much completely as her schedule is so busy she doesn’t have much time to come and see me, messed up my uni plans but also my transition. My family while not as bad as hers aren’t totally comfortable with the situation so transitioning here is not an idea I am looking forward to. But you gotta do what you gotta do, I was so looking forward to this year, I had so much hope and everything just seems to have fallen apart, everything I had in place has gone to wreck and ruin and I don’t know how it will all work out in the end. What goes through my mind is that her family were so close to me, so behind me and my transition and our relationship and now they have made a complete about face and wrecked all my plans.
This is a pretty personal post, and maybe tomorrow I will regret writing it but right now at 3 30am I really wanna get all this off my chest. I have heard good things about the OU courses and maybe if things ever improve with my girlfriends parents it means I can travel easily without it affecting my work as I can take it with me, also while I am transitioning and in early stages not having to go to uni, travel and all that is pretty good for me. I am free to do a lot of things that uni might get in the way of, so maybe this is all for the best but Goddamn I wish it had come about in an easier way.